Saturday, June 10, 2006

Bhutia it is.....

Germany. The German authorities have finally disclosed the identity of the mysterious man who jumped over the fence during the football match between the Germany and Costa Rica as Bhaichung Bhutia. Few would recall Bhutia as the only Indian footballer worth a kick.

Constable Whorely Pedophire, described Bhutia as deeply disgruntled with India not being able to partake in the world cup. Bhutia was found out be on a high dose of cocaine and morphine, and perhaps it was in the high of the moment that he decided to take a high kick, only to forget that one kicks with legs. Bhutia fell like a goalkeeper in a busty buxom photographer when actually he had planned to execute his famous Bicycle Kick from behind the goal post. He ended up receiving free kicks from the photographers on the periphery of the ground.

Bhutia might also face molestation charges from Ms Surly Neverlaid, the buxom women whose lap Bhutia fell into. Ms Neverlaid claimed Bhutia compromised her propriety and commented "what the fuck, I see two footballs". Ms Neverlaid refused to acknowledge that Mr Bhutia is a star Indian Footballer, "Had he been a footballer he'd have known that handling the ball is a foul, but he tried to", said Ms Neverlaid. She reiterated that he did not jump to execute his so-called famous Bicycle Kick but he tried to outrage her modesty. Surely, Ms Surly Neverlaid had a point.

The Indian Ambassador to Germany Ms Shanker went on record to say that there was no clarity over whether Mr Bhutia tried to take a kick or consciously tried to get close with Ms Neverlaid. She tried to brush off the event as an isolated event. She said, "This was the result of a lascivious mix of cocaine and morphine" later she corrected lascivious with lecherous.

Meanwhile, back home, the situation took an ugly turn when Women Right's Association of India demanded a complete ban on Mr Bhutia's professional engagements with East Bengal. On the other hand the Communist Bengal sees it as a capitalist ploy to destroy Indian football.

"Bhutia is an emotional person, which had just overflowed. Perhaps he should have taken some time for the opportune moment", his coach Mr Thupden Rabgyal said. He did not clarify though what he meant by opportune moment, if it was for the Bicycle Kick or for Ms Neverlaid.

The political rank and file of the nation is anguished over the event with sympathies and support for Mr Bhutia flowing in from all the directions. Mr Vajpayee today broadened the meaning of his remark about Rahul Mahajan that "mistakes do happen in young age" to include the middle aged too. Perhaps he could have said "To err is human". But it does not mean that he has a generous viewpoint over cocaine use

All in all the situations remains tight legged; Mr Bhutia is right now planning an exile in Columbia

This is a satire, none of events mentioned herein, ever happened in real life....

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